relationships...the good, the bad, and all worthwhile

In our care group we are going through this book (see above)(excellent, and I recommend it) and I was struck by several things during our discussion on chapter 5: "Agendas". The authors use and reference Ephesians 4 as the basis of the chapter. They make the case that all too often we have a "self-interested" agenda at the heart of our relationships. What's in it for me? Does this relationship make my life easier, better, or happier? Now, don't get me wrong, God intended us to be in relationships with one another for our good and as a means of joy and grace, but he didn't promise they would be easy. Why is it that we think if it's not easy, why bother? I call it in my life, "idol of ease". I want my marriage relationship with Rob to be easy, and I want my time with and care of our boys to be easy and fun for me. How foolish am I when I am surprised when they aren't?! So, last night Rob made a comment about a quote deeling with fatigue and exhaustion in relationships and relating it in physical terms. "If you quit at the first sign of fatigue when you exercise, you miss the chance to become more fit. Exercise after exhaustion is the most efficient and productive time for physical fitness. This is true of relationships as well." How true and sobering in light of our relationship with one of our sons. We are, on many occasions, utterly exhausted of all the work it takes. My heart wants to give up sometimes. But that is when God is really accomplishing his purposes and doing some heart work in me and Lord willing, my son too. And then the gospel screams back at me that God didn't give up on me, instead He sent His Son to rescue me! Whoa!!!!

At the close of our meeting I was encouraged by this quote Craig shared with us from the end of the chapter:
"What vision for relationships is the Bible painting for us? According to Ephesians 4, it is that the highest joys of relationships grow in the soil of the deepest struggles. Struggles are not obstacles, but instruments in God's hands. Every struggle is an opportunity to experience God's grace yourself and give it to the other person. ...If you look at your own character, some of your deepest growth has been born out of great stress and trial."

So, though relationships, even the ones that mean the most to us, are hard, the Lord promises grace for it and that he is "working all things together for our good". It really is "a mess worth making"!